


Three times they almost kissed

by lorellamoon



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:19:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7881874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorellamoon/pseuds/lorellamoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And the one time they did, along with the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Groceries

I. Groceries

Sakuya was truly an idiot.

It hadn't been his intention to even talk to Mahiru, but as soon as the brunette had seen him he had bolted over to him, tripping over his own feet. 

"Wow Mahiru-kun, should you really be falling for me?" Sakuya joked with a laugh while he caught him. He joked so easily as if nothing had changed yet his true thoughts could be easily read in his eyes. 'Why did you call out to me?'

"Oh shut up!" Mahiru said, pink tinging his cheeks. Sakuya found it completely adorable. He laughed.

"Stop laughing at me you idiot!" Mahiru huffed, crossing his arms. The bags of groceries he had been carrying had spilled all over the ground, and he bent down to pick them up. While Sakuya knew he should be taking advantage of the moment, he stayed. After a few seconds, he bent down and began helping his friend.

"So how's it going Mahiru?" He asked casually to fill the silence. He really didn't like silence when he was with Mahiru. Sakuya preferred to hear his voice, to joke around with him as they had done once. Still, he knew nothing could be done about. They were nice memories, some of his best, but his loyalties lied with Tsubaki and he couldn't afford to be with Mahiru.

"Fine I guess," the brunette replied. "We're preparing for the festival this year, and I have a whole bunch of stuff to do."

"Ha, as usual. Don't tell me you volunteered to do almost everything again?" Sakuya asked with a laugh. 

"It was the simplest way to get things done," Mahiru answered while putting the last can into the bag. He straightened up and Sakuya followed. Okay, he had said hello to Mahiru and had helped pick up his groceries. He could leave now and-

"Hey are you busy?" Mahiru asked. Yes, Sakuya was going to say. The idea of lying didn't appeal to him, it never had, but he couldn't really afford to say he was free. Yet somehow he did.

"No not really," he mentally hit his head against a brick wall. 

"Great!" Mahiru said with that bright smile of his. "Here help me carry the groceries home then. We really haven't talked in a while." Damn you Mahiru.

With an internal sigh he bent down and took some of the bags, all while giving the brunette a look he purposely ignored. 

"So how are the guys?" Sakuya asked. Mahiru might have been his best friend but the others were still his friends, even if the could barely Remember him now.

"They're okay. They still ask about you once in a while," Mahiru said. Sakuya just hummed and pretend that he didn't care. Mahiru stared at him for a few minutes, awkward uncomfortable silence stretching on for what seemed an eternity. Just as Sakuya was about to say something, anything to break the silence, Mahiru spoke again.

"You could always come back you know. To school I mean." Oh and how Sakuya wished he could.

"You know I can't Mahiru," He said quietly. The brunette sighed.

"Why can't you? Did Tsubaki forbid you, or do you not want to face us?"

"Mahiru, please." Sakuya begged. They walked in silence for a few more seconds.

"So, do anything fun recently? Things must be interesting hanging Belkia all the time," Mahiru said. Sakuya silently thanked him and they began a new conversation. It was fun, and Sakuya was silently waiting and dreading for them to part. 

He ended up walking Mahiru to his apartment doorstep despite his better judgment. He could see that Mahiru didn't want to say goodbye but they both new the brunette had pushed his luck more than enough already.

"So uhm, see ya" Mahiru said with an awkward wave. Sakuya nodded and they both moved to walk away in their respective directions when in a split second decision he grabbed his friends arm, pulling him close.

"S-Sakuya?" Mahiru said, startled by the action.

"Just, just be careful, okay Mahiru." The brunette stared at him and nodded.

"Yeah I will. You too." 

Neither made to move after the words were exchanged and it almost seemed to Sakuya that they were getting closer. 

"You two brats stop blocking the hallways!" An old lady yelled, startling both boys to the point that they jumped apart. Both their faces were a bright scarlet, and the same thought was going through both their heads. 'Was I about to kiss him?!'

"Bye M-Mahiru," Sakuya said, and before his friend could answer, he hald already bolted, leaving a saddened and confused Mahiru and an old lady wondering how the green haired boy had just vanished.

Once he was a safe distance away, Sakuya sunk to the ground, head between his knees. He had forgotten how easy it was to get lost in Mahiru. The brown haired boy with the quirky personality, simple way of thinking, and the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. He shouldn't have felt like he did around Mahiru, and yet he couldn't help himself. Sakuya clenched his hands. Today was a mistake. He shouldn't have given in.

And yet it felt so right, he had felt so complete. For the first time in a long time, he didn't even have to lie to someone who wasn't Tsubaki. 

He slowly rose and began walking. He reached the sushi shop Tsubaki was always at, and wandered in, not even bothering to say hello. The Servamp noticed this and smirked.

"Ne Sakuya, shouldn't someone be happy after spending time with there best friend? You never came back this depressed when you hung out with Mahiru-kun before." Sakuya wondered why he had even bothered to come here.

"You know very well why," he snapped back, avoiding Tsubaki's gaze.

"Not really. Your human emotions really are complicated sometimes. You should take your friends advice and just think simply. If you like him that much why not continue to hang out with him? We might be in a war but I've never told you not to," the raven said before swallowing a piece of sushi. Sakuya was pretty sure Tsubaki was doing this to annoy him.

"It's not that simple," he answered back. All he could think about was the inevitable moment where Magiru would get seriously hurt. Why did he have to get so attached?


	2. Rain

II. Rain

Sakuya walked through the busy streets, avoiding the colorful umbrellas as busy, everyday people sprinted all around, wanting to quickly get out of the pouring rain. Not that he particularly cared. He was already soaked to the bone and his phone had long since damaged due to the downpour. With a sigh he turned down another street, and brushed away the hair matted to his forehead 

It had been a whole week since he had see Mahiru. The precious hour he had spent with the brunette kept replaying over and over in his head, much to his chagrin. It was all he really thought about. 

It depressed him, to know what he couldn't have anymore. He could've gone back to school. Back to the easy days of homework and hanging out with Mahiru, but somehow he knew it wouldn't be the same. Too many things had changed. In the end he knew that getting closer to the brunette would only hurt them both in the end. This was a war, and they were enemies, he thought. If only Mahiru could understand that; It was so simple really that it was beyond Sakuya why he couldn't.

He listlessly looked at his watch and sighed. It was only 7:34 pm. There was no way he could go back right now. They would still be out an about. Especially Tsubaki who would not stop bothering him with the issue. It was the reason why he had finally gotten tired and walked out, rain and all.

Sakuya ended out by a park and wandered over to a bench. The rain didn't look as if it were going to let up anytime soon. God, why had he decided to sneak into that particular school that day. Why had he ended up being Mahiru's friend. Why did it hurt so much?

"Sakuya?" Shit! It couldn't be! "What are you doing out in the rain like this? You could get sick!" Karma hated him didn't it? That had to be the answer. With a sigh he looked up and stared into Mahiru's brown eyes. 

"I'm a vampire, I don't exactly get sick," he answered, not even bothering to fake a cheerful tone. Maybe Mahiru would get the hint and leave him alone. It was a bit too much to hope for. 

Mahiru sighed and Sakuya felt as the brunette sat besides him. Suddenly he stopped feeling the constant patter of the rain against him and looked over at Mahiru.

"What are you doing? Unlike me you can get sick, and that bench is all wet." He said. 

"Well I'm not leaving you sitting all alone here. Seriously, even if you don't get sick you shouldn't be here in the rain." Mahiru said and as much as he hated to admit it, Sakuya felt himself getting lost into his intense stare. He sighed and tried to control himself. He looked up at the umbrella.

"You're so..." He paused a moment to find the right word. "...strange. You are so willing to help me. Why? You go against you're friends, you try to help the enemies for goodness sake." He chuckles. "God Mahiru, why are you such a mess?" Mahiru blinked at his little rant before giving him a sad smile.

"Because you're my friend too Sakuya. You might be the enemy, but you're still my friend, and that's all that matters. You aren't as bad as a person as you make yourself to be. Even Tsubaki isn't as bad as he acts," the brunette said. Sakuya snorted.

"Where did you hear that lie?" He said, referring to both himself and Tsubaki being a good person.

"I know you, Sakuya. You might say it was all a lie, but I know you. And I'm even getting to know Tsubaki as well."

Sakuya let his face fall into his hands to hide the tears and started laughing. It was a very shaky laugh, and he was sure Mahiru could tell that he was crying because the there was suddenly a hand on his shoulder. Before he knew it, he had hugged Mahiru. The Eve though a bit startled hugged back.

"I hate you so much," Sakuya mumbled into his shoulder.

"Liar," Mahiru mumbled back. The umbrella had long since fallen and both of them were now completely soaked. Sakuya wished so much that he could stay there, forever in Mahiru's embrace. 

Slowly the pulled away from the hug, Mahiru giving him a smiled.

"It's fascinating, really how even is your hair is completely soaked, this particular piece," at this he yanked down Sakuya's stubborn curl, "manages to still defy all laws of gravity." Sakuya laughed. 

"Yes, well at least my hairs not as boring as your "simple" hair," he rebuked, brushing the wet, matted hair out of the brunette's face. Mahiru giggled. Sakuya stared forlornly at his friends face and before he knew it, he was bending down, this time very aware of what he was going to do. Mahiru didn't seem to be pushing him away. Except a second later Mahiru sneezed. This startled them both and they quickly pulled away. 

Sakuya quickly regained his composure and gave his friend an easy smile.

"Go home you dork. I told you that you'd end catching a cold," he chastised. Sakuya stood up and grabbed the brunette's umbrella handing it over to him.

"Perhaps I did spend a bit too much in the rain," Mahiru with a laugh. Sakuya walked him to the park entrance and waved goodbye before walking off back to the hotel. 

Why had he decided to sneak into that particular school that day. Why had he ended up being Mahiru's friend. Why did it hurt so much? These were questions he was still asking himself, yet he couldn't bring himself to regret any of it. He smiled and thought of the kiss he had almost given Mahiru. Red spread across his cheeks, and somehow he couldn't find the pain he had last time he had spent time with him.


	3. Stalking

III. Stalking

As creepy as it sounded, Sakuya spent the next week following Mahiru. 

"Ugh I've turned into a stalker," he thought with a groan as he hid behind a random tree. It really hadn't been his intention. At first he had just wanted to see if Mahiru was okay, so he ended up going to the brunette's house only to see him with a cold. He wasn't even taking care of himself, just running around the house doing chores despite his ongoing fever.

Because of this, Sakuya decided to follow him the next day. Just to make sure he didn't overexert himself and collapse. He did the same the next day.

And the next.

And the next.

By now it had just become habit to follow him. He really needed to stop this. It wouldn't be long before sloth realized Sakuya was following them, and the Mahiru might take things the wrong way. He really didn't want to let that happen. 

"Ahg!" Sakuya immediately turned to the source of the voice. He nearly panicked when he saw Mahiru on the floor, and almost immediately made his way the brunette.

"Sakuya?" Mahiru asked, surprised. Shit. 

"Hello, Mahiru-kun~" he said cheerfully as he helped the other stand up. Mahiru collapsed again almost immediately with another cry of pain. Sakuya knelt down next to him and wince when he saw his ankle. It was a swollen mass of purples, blues and reds. He had at the very least sprained his ankle.

"Damn Mahiru. You should be more careful." He chastised as he poked and prodded it with morbid curiosity. He really didn't think it should have become that swollen. Mahiru slapped his hand away.

"Ouch, that hurts," he mumbled and Sakuya apologized.

"Well looks like I'll have to carry you home," he said picking Mahiru up bridal style. 

"Ahh.. Thanks." Mahiru said. He was oddly quiet.

"Anything wrong?" Sakuya asked. He was getting slightly worried. It wasn't like Mahiru to be like this.

"No, I'm fine," he answered. Sakuya frowned. This definitely wasn't like Mahiru. He seemed... Distracted. Come to think about it, he hadn't even said anything when Sakuya picked him up bridal style. Mahiru was definitely not okay. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Mahiru finally spoke. 

"Hey Sakuya?"

"Yeah?"

"So what are you doing around here?" 

"Stuff, mostly walking around" he lied. It felt heavy on his mouth but he couldn't very well say he'd been stalking the brunette. That wouldn't go over very well. He could only thank his lucky stars the Sloth was a lazy cat. 

"Are you lying because you can't say, or because you want to?" Mahiru asked. He had a sort of disappointed look on his face. Sakuya tensed.

"What do you mean Mahiru~" he asked cheerfully. There was sadness mixed into the disappointment.

"A few days ago, Kuro told me something weird," Mahiru started. Sakuya suddenly had a bad feeling about all of this. 

"Oh?"

"He said that I was being followed. Nothing really happened so I ignored it. Yesterday though I was closing the curtains and I saw you. For a second, but I know it was you. Why are you following me?"

Shit. That was the first thing that went through his head. The stupid cat he understood, but for Mahiru himself to catch him...

"Hey Mahiru, I just remembered I have to do something. You have your phone right? I'm sure you can call someone to help you out right?" He asked as he put the brunette down.

"Sakuya!" Mahiru yelled. He was angry. Mahiru gripped his wrist tightly, not willing to let it go. Sakuya frowned. Why did he have to make this harder than it was.

"I get it Sakuya! I know that we're technically enemies. I know that there are somethings you can't tell me. But why do you have to runaway? Really, I know I'm not that good a doubting people but even I can tell when you're simply avoiding me!" 

"...I," he started to say. But then he realized. What was he supposed to say. Mahiru was still gripping his wrist, though his hold had loosened. Sakuya could leave now. Mahiru would be fine. He didn't though.

"I was worried," he mumbled, softly enough that Mahiru almost didn't hear.

"Huh?"

"You got sick the other day and you're stupid enough to still get up instead of taking care of yourself so I've been checking after you this past week," he said. He didn't stop there though. "And I avoid you because I don't want it to hurt so much. Tsubaki doesn't say anything about it but I can't stand the fact that we're supposed to be enemies!"

"Sakuya..." Mahiru said. He looked like he wanted to say something but Sakuya didn't let him.

"Mahiru, please stop making this so hard." He helped Mahiru who was now wobbling on his good ankle steady himself. It was only after he gripped the brunette's waist that he realized how compromising it could look. Mahiru probably realized how it looked as well because his face was flushed. They both knew what they wanted to do. They both knew it. Sakuya knew how much he wanted to just kiss Mahiru. He didn't though.

"Let's get you home Mahiru." He said and picked up the brunette. He made no protest as Sakuya carried him all the way back to the apartment. He actually walked in and dropped him off at the couch, ignoring the sloth's suspicious gaze. 

"You should probably call someone to take you to the hospital. That's probably broken," he pointed out. Mahiru nodded.

"Thanks Sakuya," Mahiru said. Sakuya gave him a smile.

"No problem Mahiru, take care." He said and walked out.

"You too!" He heard Mahiru call out and Sakuya smiled to himself. He walked out onto to the street and headed back to the hotel. He'd probably have to explain to Tsubaki why he had been missing for nearly a week. He wasn't looking forward to that, not because he'd get in trouble, rather because the servamp wouldn't let him live it down. He could already hear the others laughter.


	4. The one time they did

IV. The one time they did.

Sakuya had fallen into a self-destructive habit. Mahiru. It hadn't been intentional, but the brunette had managed to worm himself into his life, and there was no way of getting rid of him now.

This cheered and depressed him at the same time.

He sighed and looked down at his food. He really didn't have much of an appetite at the moment.

These past few weeks he had kept hanging out with Mahiru. At first it was just small moments they shared. Usually Sakuya helping the brunette with something as he currently hand a broken ankle. Slowly though it had become longer time and had turned into a regular thing. He was terrified. He knew that at any moment Tsubaki could tell him to attack Mahiru. Or forbid him from seeing him. He didn't know whether he could take that.

The worst part was his loyalty to Tsubaki. The man who had saved him, gave him a home, a family. How could he ever choose Mahiru over Tsubaki. Yet sometimes he found himself wondering, how could he choose Tsubaki over Mahiru? He feared the day he'd have to betray either of them. 

He got up, leaving his plate abandoned, catching the attention of several of the Melancholy Subclasses. He ignored everyone in favor of heading up to his room. There was no doubt about it. Mahiru was terrible for his mental psyche. 

"Sakuya-kun!" Someone called from the door. Sakuya sat up in his bed. Shit! What was Tsubaki doing here. He then realized, leaving in the middle of dinner was bound to worry him.

Sakuya got up and opened the door to stare into Tsubaki's worried face.

"Is something wrong?" He asked in a monotone. 

"I should be asking you that, Sakuya-kun," Tsubaki answered and gestured to his room.

"Can I come in?" It was phrased like a question but Sakuya knew he probably didn't have a choice, so he moved aside and watched as Tsubaki sauntered in, turning on the lights while he did. Sakuya blinked for a few minutes while he got adjusted to the light. He quietly went to sit on his bed besides Tsubaki. There was silence for a few minutes.

"Sakuya-kun... you've been acting strange for these past few weeks. You disappeare for odd hours, you barely eat. You're quiet... well more quiet than usual. You even walked out on dinner today, which you miraculously decided to attend. Is something wrong?"

Oh something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He sighed, hugging his knees and staring at the green wall. 

"I... It's hard Tsubaki. Being friends with Mahiru is so hard, I can't. If there comes a point where I would have to hurt him... I don't think I could. At the same time, staying away from him feels awful." He explained, burying his face into his hands once he was done. There was silence for a few minutes.

"Hmm... Sakuya-kun. We seem to have a problem here."

Here it came. Mahiru was probably going to end up dying and it was all his fault for not keeping his mouth shut.

"A-a problem?" He echoed. Tsubaki nodded, and Sakuya swore he had never seen the Servamp of Melancholy so serious before. It scared him a bit.

"Yes. It seems to be you have fallen in love."

Sakuya took a few minutes to process what Tsubaki had said.

"What...?" He repeated dumbly.

"You have fallen in love," Tsubaki explained gently. "Really I should have expected it."

"I- but- in love with Mahiru?" He stuttered out. Tsubaki nodded and Sakuya frowned. He thought about it. About how he felt every time he was with the brunette, about how happy he felt with him, the awful feeling he had when Mahiru might be in danger. All the times they almost kissed.

"Oh god, I am!" He groaned. Tsubaki was right. This was a problem. A very big problem.

"...I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay Sakuya-kun."

"Huh?" He asked. Tsubaki gave him a sad smile. One he rarely let his subclasses see.

"I mean. I gave you everything I could but even then you still needed it. The love you have for Mahiru."

"But-"

"Let me finish Sakuya." He said before continuing. "It's really something I should have expected. You became my subclass when you were young, and you've never had the drive to kill like the others have. You are still a child. One I carelessly brought into a world he didn't belong to."

"I don't understand," Sakuya said. Tsubaki put a hand on his shoulder.

"What I mean is that you don't belong here with us. You should live your life how you want."

"Are you saying..."

"Yes Sakuya-kun, be free. I obviously won't let you go all on your own, I couldn't sleep right with you on the streets. All I ask is that you become neutral in this war."

They both knew what that this wasn't a request and that had it been, what Sakuya's answer would be.

___________

One week later Sakuya left. It was something quiet, the only one there to see him off was Tsubaki. It was better like that. The Servamp of Melancholy would explain to everyone an abridge version of the reason for his departure later. 

Tsubaki hadn't been lying when he said Sakuya wouldn't be left to his own devices. One of Tsubaki's swords, just in case he'd ever need it, a phone so Tsubaki could check that he was okay once in a while, and an unlimited credit card had been his parting gift to Sakuya.

He walked out of their headquarters and headed straight towards Mahiru's house. There were still so many things that could go wrong. There was the chance Mahiru wouldn't reciprocate his feelings. That would probably kill him.

He hesitated by the door before taking a deep breath and knocking.

"I'm coming!" Mahiru's voice rang from inside and a few seconds later he heard footsteps. The door opened and Sakuya had never been happier to see Mahiru. He didn't waste a moment. He roughly grabbed Mahiru by the arm and kissed him.

Mahiru made a yelp of surprise, before relaxing and kissing him back. Sakuya put everything he felt, everything he wanted to say into that kiss. When they pulled apart, Sakuya pulled Mahiru into a hug.

Everything was okay now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally finished! Sorry for the long wait, hehe. Thanks to everyone who read this :3 If you guys want to check out my Tumblr, [here's](http://fif-the-writer.tumblr.com/) the link. 
> 
> As I currently finished this fic, I am now taking requests so if anyone has any suggestions or prompts you'd like me to do, please go drop them in my [Tumblr Ask Box](http://fif-the-writer.tumblr.com/ask). I ship pretty much any pairing so ask away.
> 
> hehe. anyways thanks again to everyone who read this. I mean wow, a hundred kudos and over sixty subscriptions. I feel loved :3
> 
> love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah I hope you guys like this. I really loved this ship and it breaks my heart that these two friends can't be together. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :3


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